Folks – this post is number one hundred – once upon a time 100 meant excellent!
Long time ago I loved getting this on a test:
I also loved getting one or many of these…
I vaguely remember on days that I received a gold star how carefully I would carry it home….
A gold star! A gold star!
I felt the same elation when I received a grade of 100 on a test….and if there were any comments like
Great work, Excellent, or A+ - well I was on cloud 9 because after all, I put a lot of effort into getting that grade.
With receiving these types of praises, accolades and acknowledgements, comes pride, which is to say that this pride was felt, as only a five- year old, an eleven-year-old, and a 17-year-old could feel… somewhere between twenty-one and, well now; something happened, pride became a smugness or a conceit, and being proud was not a factor anymore.
What I lost was a satisfaction when a job was done well …because as an adult, well it is expected … I think when I lost this I also lost some things so important – and so key to joining you all each week.
These things are, gratification, happiness, and joy!
Wow, how ironic…. Here I am searching for silver linings and gratitude when in a long while or ever, I haven’t accepted my very own achievements….
I read somewhere that if you need a prayer …saying thank you is the only one you will ever need to say….
Which I get; gifts are given to me each day. I go about my day, and well, not ignoring these gifts, but avoiding them…
Why because; it’s fear; that nasty little visitor that lately has made itself quite comfortable and won’t leave.
Each week I come up with my ten thankful - and let's face it although I mean it and generally find those darn gratitudes; I question it all but, more importantly, I don’t dare say what my heart wants to say.
Which is, it is Ok to be thankful, it is ok to say so and acknowledge it so it can be heard, it is quite all right to honour these gifts by saying thank you; feeling proud and oh my God not afraid. We can say things like; I am thankful for you, I am thankful for our health, and I am thankful that I am here another day to witness all the wonderful things that are offered - good, bad or the ugly- because that is what life is…..
Therefore, I am thankful for
One hundred beautiful posts that are filled with heart, passion and my words; which come from somewhere that I do not know …but once I start to write, they arrive, visiting, sticking around, and always making a point.
Please feel free to snoop, and follow me….and snoop some more there a few gems in here!
Amelia’s and James’ progress report - how many times can I read “pleasure to have in class”, “shows consistent effort” and “a positive attitude”… Way to go!
An opportunity each week that allows me to speak of how I feel…and become grounded!
Last Friday night we all arrived home with something to say; so for about an hour we sat in our living room talking and laughing and laughed some more. It was hysterical and made me realize how much fun we are…. we are a team and we all have a talent, power, or a trait that makes us who we are.
Nick is the instigator … Amelia’s giggles and smiles are contagious …James is our conscience and for that we call him Jiminy Cricket….me, I have no idea perhaps the straight man ….oh and I cannot forget Teddy he is the supervisor, always watching us taking notes and making sure of our well-being.
Next are our inside jokes, yes we have inside jokes like:
Richie the plumber
“The last time I talked to you, was the last time we talked!”
Last but not least this word:
Jombrotte – (our spelling) meaning someone out of the ordinary – use in a sentence when you see someone walking in the middle of the night on a highway; someone could say, “What is this Jombrotte doing here on this highway, in the middle of nowhere?”
A relaxed weekend - that hour we spent together on the couch before dinner laughing and talking on Friday night, set the mood for the weekend.
James – he is a gentleman – I am thankful for that.
Ok, I know I said this before but it is a Thankful that I cannot ignore – Pandora – more specifically Pandora playing in my car last week, and while I am mentioning this, it is worth knowing that I give the best concerts on Old Country Road somewhere between East Northport and Melville in the mornings and evenings.
Thank you…thank you, very much!
This leads me to acceptance, (hang on I have a point) last week, I was thankful that I can have the humility to accept blame. And yet on the other side of the coin or a separate incidence, I also learned and became thankful because I let myself accept that I did nothing wrong. Sometimes… no, all the time, I think that even if I am doing the right thing; guilt lets me believe that it’s not enough and I should have done more –I did what was needed, it was enough. Let’s move on.
I am thankful for this creative space – Squaarekat; it is beyond my own words – it is the comments, the companionship, and the positive energy for everyone to write and create in this wonderful blog world. It is all the many beautiful blogs that I follow, your words; your voices are all very inspiring. Thank you!