Tuesday, January 5, 2016

The “Everyone can hear you, what do you want to say?” Series Handle With Care Edition…


A few months ago, on a phone call with my husband- I was lamenting about the rudeness that I encountered.

I was angry because sometimes in so many tiny moments, all my efforts feel crushed.

When hubby and I connected on that phone call, I can hear in his voice that he also was having a stressful morning, yet I heard in his voice, a calm that annoyed me.  Because calm gets you, no way…well calm gets you everywhere, but in your own private bubble, I think you can scream, punch only the air, and cry if you want to.  Don’t you think so?  In addition, wouldn’t that mean that one doesn’t need to put on a calm voice when speaking to your own person, the person that has your back no matter what it is.  

So continuing with our call, at this point hubby was trying to calm me down – which hardly works, he doesn’t know how. Frustrated he said to me, well everyone can hear you what do you want to say; ( I was a bit loud) I panicked and hung up the phone, went to Starbucks, got myself an Iced Green Tea and went back to my daily life.

The rest of the day, I was thinking about this line…

“Everyone can hear you, what do you want to say?”

I realized; Yes, I have a lot to say… and hence, my new series called, you guessed it:

“Everyone can hear you, what do you want to say?”

Today’s edition is called Handle with care!

What I want to tell *everyone* is this:

*everyone meaning,  co-workers, spouses, employers, barista at Starbucks, the kid at 7-11, the man at the pizzeria and the knucklehead who needs to blow their horn the minute the light changes green.*

To all parties concerned I woke up this morning happy; made myself a cup of coffee at 5:30 am; I used my favorite cup an orange cup, the coffee was delicious…

The kids weren’t getting up when they should, put me in a slight panic that I might be late for work. My  son, although I reminded him to get ready for school last night,  forgot to get his soccer gear in order  and was not able to  find his shin guards;  telling me this as he was carrying his  back pack. 

Seeing the backpack only reminded me that his backpack looked heavy; and why is he carrying a ton of his supplies when he should use his locker?  We don’t want a repeat of last year I thought ,  he didn’t use his locker in the 7th grade at all, he was so disorganized, his assignments were handed in late or lost,  which led to  lower grades or making up assignments. 

At the same time, when my daughter took out her water bottle and lunch from the fridge, I realized that James needed money for the vending machine at school. This reminded me that my daughter has no idea how to count money, I suspect my son doesn’t know either, but he assures me that he does…I sort of, kind of believe him.

So cleverly, I gave my son 1.45 in change - and cleverly, I will do the same for my daughter, instead of bills I think giving them change will only help them learn; this boggles my mind…how certain things are not really taught…but need to be experienced.

In true tornado fashion we were all able to leave the house and proceed to our destination, on my way to work I almost rear-ended someone in front of me… all I could think of was thank God; it would have been a bad collision and I don’t want to think about my fate.  I arrived to work shaken up but I shook it off because I have no choice. I delved into the daily tasks …

Now after that lengthy introduction, here is what I really want to say…

I believe that most of us care, as for myself not only do I care to do a good job, I am also driven to be a good worker, and really hate to make mistakes…or not give my employer 110% …I think that most employed people feel the same. Especially in today’s workforce, I know that when I sit at my desk I am doing that sitting at a desk working…. I did not obsess over the near death experience that could have been my fate.  I did not sit there worrying that my kids don’t know how to count money, and I didn’t fret about a very heavy backpack …I do my job.

Occasionally, throughout the day, I wonder if my kids are okay, if they are safe and if after school pick up will go smoothly.  I also plan some sort of dinner in my head and today I did decide perhaps having them use coins, instead of dollar bills would help them learn how to count money.

My point is, once on the clock we are there for the employers, everything else is left at the door, in the car or tucked away to think about at lunch or during a break.  We have pride and all workers like me also have something else, we don’t want to fail, but what we want is to put in our hours and feel accomplished at the end of the day.  

Today’s workforce is filled with bottom-lines…spreading everyone thin; it’s OK we are all doing it. I don’t mind, it beats the alternative; please understand I am not arguing that point, truthfully I am not arguing anything. 

What I am trying to express is this, there are days that I feel like nothing can stop me, then there are days that one stupid, insignificant remark makes me feel like those “can’t stop me days” did not really happen.

…on so many levels we are all in the same boat!  We all have a job to do; some are better at their jobs than others are, some just want you think they are wonderful, others use undermining words to feel powerful. Some are getting paid well and there are many out there trying to make ends meet and living from paycheck to paycheck yet no matter what group we are in, we all have concerns.

Hear me now – regardless of these concerns, or worries we all show up – we all do our best, I have to believe that!  Heck, I’d admit that even the competitive ones are good workers; but I wish to God that the ones that push themselves up the ladder realizes that they did not get up there on their own. 

Everyone needs to know that more than few are willing to work side by side, than compete. Being treated menially is binding and cruel too.  It leads to self-doubt and questions all of the 101 things we do daily, which leads to feeling so unaccomplished and yes inferior….

I know the saying, this one:


It shows up on the slideshow on my desktop, but no matter how many times I read it, sometimes, it does not matter when hostile environments are everywhere.

Let’s remind ourselves that we are not alone. If there is one thing, you can gain from this post; please take this …

We all have a job to do. We all have to answer to someone; you, me… even my boss is no different…

The people from UPS, FedEx, and even your mail carrier are being monitored by a machine to get the package delivered by a certain time, if they seem annoyed, that is why. The kid at 7-11 probably has to go home after his shift and has to pull an all-nighter for a test on some ridiculous subject that needs to be taken to earn his degree.  Moreover, the woman buying a stupid scratch-off and a chocolate macaroon needs some hope and chocolate for a moment to escape – what I ask is this, can we learn to handle each other with care?

Can we all learn to live on the same common ground knowing that our problems, concerns, and maybe fears each hold the same value as one another?

Can we get that…imagine if we all wore something like a news crawler – displaying all of our uncensored thoughts, can you imagine how we would see each other so differently.  I sometimes think if everyone can see my thoughts each day, that maybe everyone I meet would be nicer.  Maybe I’d even get hugs…maybe if I can see the same worries and fears in others,  I can forget my own and I will comfort who needs it more than I do…..

However, lately we don’t think that way, do we? Kindness or being courteous is not on the forefront. I guess it’s OK to honk your horn when the light turns green; after all, you need to be somewhere and me well I’m in your way.  It makes a lot of sense not to smile at your customers, especially the woman that is buying a macaroon; she really just thinks you’re shy.  Truly, I insist tell your co-worker she doesn’t know how to staple …she shouldn’t get away with that kind of crap…no one should get away with their crap anymore…

Why should we care? 
Because it is common decency….because even though you think everything is either a race, competition, or a right…… it is not…

Lastly, what I want to say when rude people are everywhere, it’s quite all right to join in; it’s so easy to cross that line, isn’t it?  We all become jaded way too easily…

Instead of handling each of us with care….



  1. This is clearly so deeply felt. I can tell you're deep in this as I get too. It would maybe be better if we could feel this as strongly all the time as you wrote it. But it comes and goes, doesn't it? I like that other quote too--the one about everyone fighting their own battle that we don't know about. So be kind and patient.

    1. that is so true and that is exactly what I was trying to say ... we all have something and maybe its not all that major (like a brain tumor) but just everyday living, everyday concerns..so lets all be patient and kind...thank you for visiting

  2. brilliant. and from the heart.
    it makes me think of this line i've always loved...
    "it isn't the mountain you have to climb that gets you. it's the little pebble in your shoe."
    or something to that effect.
    it's the everyday woe that we carry. each of us in our own way.
    these are beautiful thoughts you've shared so well.
    peace starts with each of us. the circle of peace.
    i love the way you write. i've missed you.

    1. that is it that darn pebble - love it thank you :)


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